Red is my color!!!

You are hearing it here for the first time!! I hit another milestone today. I am now under 100 pounds to my goal!!! That is HUGE for me mentally. I was ashamed to put my goal weight out there as it was just so far off and didn't seem like it would be something I would reach. But now that it's in a TWO DIGIT number...hell yes, I can do this! As of this morning, I have 99.8 pounds to go to reach my ultimate goal. I'm on cloud nine. For three mornings in a row, I have had personal bests. This is really exciting, folks. And the best part of my day yesterday was a really old friend of mine (Lisa Riley) found out what I have been doing and called and left me the BEST voicemail I think I have ever had. It really brought tears to my eyes. This is one of the reasons I didn't want to share my adventures with the just anyone until I was sure I was going to succeed at this. I hate to fail. HATE IT. It's not something I take lightly to. Everything in my life it seems has lead to some sort of failure. My original weight issues stems from failure. So for me to have put this out here is bigger than anything I think I might have done before. So I want you all to know that this is not just about me losing weight. For each pound that is shed off my body is a failure I am letting go of from my life. I NEVER want to be the person I have become again. And I know most of you are probably going, but Rach, you seem like you have a wonderful life. And on the surface you bet I do! But if you dig deep into who I really am, you will find one sad person. I'm really really good at covering up my faults. The one thing I could never hide was my weight. Well I could, in some ways, but it still hits home when I think about what brought me to this point in my life.

ok....that's enough reading for today. I can't believe I'm putting this out there either. Wow...I might have to come back later and delete this entry. I'm not sure what I am typing at this point. It just keep spilling out of me.