Well, it's been a really really rough week for me, emotionally. Work has me up in knots, my MIL, my StepMom. It seems like I am just one big emotional basketcase. I tend to get so caught up in things that I forget to see things for what they really are to me. The boys went out to play on the trampoline today and I just layed on the hard deck in the sun thinking. I could hear the boys laughing, then fighting, then back laughing. It was peaceful. I got some time reflect with the Man. I found myself asking him for this time to stop. I didn't want to move. I just wanted to lay in that sunshine and think. I wanted to feel the warmth of the sun, the boys, the peace that beginning to wash over me. It felt good. Really good. For a just few brief moments I didn't have one care in the world. Nothing really mattered for those few moments. Work issues were forgotten, cancer was not slapping me in the face, the boys laughing was like a pill that calms every nerve ending. It was Heaven on Earth. Then reality hits me hard....MOMMY....He pushed me, he pushed me first, no I didn't, yes you did, stop it, you stop. Dog takes off running after a bird, car honks at the neighbors, sun goes behind a cloud, cool breeze kicks up and all that was gone. But I had it!